I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
