Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
