Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
