I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my phone needs a breathalizer
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
