so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
