When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
