I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
