um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
