he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
