hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
