They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
