Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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