Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There r osticjed everywhere
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
