I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
