I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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