Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
