Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
