So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
