Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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