tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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