how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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