I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize