What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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