I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
