you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
