just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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