I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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