We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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