it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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