Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
