You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The Olympian is in my bed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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