i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
