The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
