You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
