no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
