mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
