did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
