Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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