Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
