we're blogging at a bar
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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