Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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