I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
