connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
