that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
