those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
soo... how was my night?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize