I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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