I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
