our cab driver is having phone sex.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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