next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
