my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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