she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
