Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
