I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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