i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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