no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
