i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize