Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
