: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
