Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
